Dear friend,
Please cheer up.
Sending Reiki to you.
I think you should start meditation as soon as possible.
you can try this. sit or sleep as comfortably as possible. close youe eyes. cocentrate lightly on breathing . dont try too hard. breathe normally. when you breathe in visualize your breathing in love 7 all the positives things you have & want. When you breathe out breathe out all the hatred you have for yourself & others. Also breathe out all the negatives.
After about 10 mins just relax when you exhale keeping your mind as blank as possible & when you breathe in continue breathing in the love & all the positive thoughts, visualizing a better tomorow.
please try this as soon as possible & tell us if it helps.
Reiki Love & Light,
Stephen.

Mumbai, India.